Where You Find Yourself

Sometimes you find yourself in new, enormous cities, driving in rental cars you secured in the dark night, blazing down interstates as trucks and cars squeeze you on both sides. And all this after airports and luggage and hotels alone, where you stare at the ceiling underneath those crisp, scratchy sheets that feel nothing like home. 

The old you would have never gone so far from home, alone. 

But this time, you are home because God is here; He is your dwelling place. You are here and settled because home is the fortress of His peace and joy that invites you into your own soul even as the hotel room AC booms on and off the whole night. 

Before this time in your life, it was all anxiety and fear and hiding away because travel felt traumatic. But now, it’s simple and ordinary because you’re home no matter where you go.

Even when your EZ pass doesn’t activate the toll gate, and a million cars honk and spit over your stupidity as you hold up traffic all the way down the highway, you just get out of the car as the night wind whips up your hair and cape. You hold up your hand in an apology, call for help, and think that things like this don’t happen in your familiar neighborhood. 

You sing along to your music and nod as the shaming cars, so impatient to be anywhere but here, zoom pass. 

You’re not bothered. You’re not wishing for home or that you were some other capable and confident self. 

You’re just here, still and smiling, at home in your soul with Jesus. 

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