Even If I Win, I Lose

This morning, my husband and I get in an argument over something that I seriously can’t remember.  We’re standing in the kitchen, arguing over lunchboxes or breakfasts or the weather or socks.

I’m making my final excellent point when my husband leaves the room.

My youngest looks up at me and says, “You lost that fight, mom.  Dad won.”

I burst out laughing.”Oh, did he?”  Before I can defend my superior logic and obvious advantage in debate, my husband returns. 

He says, “We both lost.” 

My youngest nods in understanding.  Nobody wins.

We both lose when we get angry with each other.  Something about how both of us lose helps me humble myself when it comes to arguing.  Even if I win, I lose.

Isn’t it so true?

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  1. My mom, bless her soul, was a perfectionist. One day, as she and my dad were laying brick for a small patio, it wasn't quite right over and over again. Finally, Dad just walked away up the alley till he could come back and work together again :). 

  2. Oh, you are so right. When my partner and I argue, he does not leave the room but gets very quiet so I start to wonder why he doesn't “fight” for his opinion. And the quieter he gets the more guilty I feel for  having argued aggressively and stop arguing. It really makes me aware when I hurt his feelings so I can stop right in time.