I Wasn’t Supposed to Have Even One

All year, I’ve waited for the raspberries.  Finally, we have a single ripe berry on the bush this morning. 

I complain to my husband about how unproductive the berries have been.  “Look at the neighbor’s berries!  They have so many ripe berries! We have one!” 

“We weren’t supposed to have any this year,” my husband–the gardening expert–reminds me.  “The neighbor’s plants are mature, and ours are young.  Next year, we’ll have our berries.”

I wasn’t supposed to have any.  The truth of it resonates deep in my soul.  I expect and demand so much.  I look at all my worries on this Sunday:  my daughter’s possible gluten allergy, news of a sick friend in the hospital, my deadlines, my students.  I place them all in the great lap of God.  I’m humbled before that lap; I do not demand or complain. 

His great blessing brought into my life the very things I now worry about.  His great blessing–when I did not deserve even one of these things–children, friends, work or whatever it is–means I cleanse my heart and rejoice in the very things about which I want to complain. 

That one bright berry–when I wasn’t supposed to have any–tastes sweeter than you can imagine. 

Journal:  Am I fretting over a blessing? 

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  1. Deadlines – yes, right now I have multiple from work, dog rescue and taxes (oy vey!). I have put them all in the “learning” category – how can I better organize my work study? how can I better prepare my receipts? – while the most important, to me, is the dogs! HA. God is helping me step up and take JOY in the challenges for the next two months; thanks for helping me appreciate the little progress I've made with the promise of more to come.
    BTW, did you leave the one berry or did you eat it?