My friends and family joke that I never do well during times of transition. I’m predictably more moody and more unsettled at the beginning of a semester and at the end of a semester. I can also experience this unsettled, depressed feeling when seasons change, when I travel, or if anything changes in my environment. I just don’t like transitions or change.
My husband always says, “Remember that you always feel this way at the beginning of May.”
I thrive on keeping a tidy little schedule. I thrive on routine. When my routine changes, I can hardly bear it!
But today I realized how thankful I am for these times of disruption because they reveal deeper things about where I put my hope, what I trust in for a sense of stability, and who I really am apart from all the scaffolding around my life. Without our schedules, who are we really? Without our safe routines and predictable environments, who are we?
My counselor told me these questions reflect the reason why personal retreats matter so much. You need to strip away your routine and all your normal coping mechanisms to really become alone with the real, authentic you. That’s the person who will then connect deeply with God (because God doesn’t connect with a fake person; there’s nobody there).
Times of transition–when everything feels unsettled– reflect invitations to think and pray and learn. They are times to depend upon God, to wait, and to receive His unconditional love more and more.