I follow an attorney trial on TikTok who gives fantastic advice on communication and conversation. He’s always advocating for other people in the courtroom, but he recently shared his best advice on self-advocacy in a way I never thought of before.
Since we often help other people, we sometimes don’t know how to advocate for ourselves, know what we really need, and speak up for what we want. Jefferson Fisher advises this: “Imagine a copy of yourself in the room” that’s essentially you with all the same wants and needs as you. Fisher says to name this person “my client” and then ask this person to sit down while you stand. He explains that, in the courtroom, you as the trial lawyer must know that you are your client’s only hope. He says, “If you don’t speak for your client, then nobody else will.” Then, you must know what your client really wants. You need “full clarity of mind of what your client is asking for.”
Then, advocate. Be the “enforcer of your client’s boundaries.” Like this: My client won’t accept that. My client would like this. My client is asking for that.
Now imagine this as Fisher advises: “Take that same mindset, and instead of saying my client, you just say “I.” I won’t accept that. I would like this. I’m asking for that.
It’s an important mental exercise to get outside of yourself, see what you need, and ask for what you need as if you’re advocating for a client. We do this so well for other people, but we fall apart when it’s our turn to speak up for ourselves. Imagining yourself as your own client helps people in situations where they need to set boundaries, too. It calms you down as you position yourself as speaking on behalf of a client, even if the client is you.