I tend to fictionalization myself into a character who prays as she should, who behaves as she should, and who conforms her desires and thoughts as she should.
After all these years of Christian living, I realize I still create a false self at times because I have a picture in my mind of the woman I want to be. So I live there in my mind–with that untruth–instead of with the real, raw me.
Years ago, my counselor told me that one of the reasons folks don’t feel close to God is because God can’t connect with a false self. He wants the real, honest us, not the character we invent.
My greatest times of prayer and connection with God and others were always when I stepped into the light and showed myself for who I really am.
God accepts me and loves me unconditionally anyway, so why not be my true self? That’s the recipe for great community, too.