These past few days, I’ve been so nervous about my fall speaking schedule. Will I do a good job? Will the women feel connected to God? Will my words make sense? Did I choose the right scriptures and stories?
I keep asking God to give me confidence and an overwhelming sense of peace regarding these events.
He doesn’t.
What He does do is remind me of a quote from Os Guinness in his book, The Call: Finding and Fulfilling the Central Purpose of Your Life.
It’s this: “Unsure of ourselves, we are sure of God.”
I’m crunching acorns underfoot as I walk around the neighborhood in the dewy morning air. I think about how Paul must not have felt particularly comfortable or full of cozy feelings when about to suffer imprisonment or stoning. I think of so many other heroes of the faith who rested in Jesus and not in their own emotions about what was happening.
Unsure of themselves–or their circumstances–they could be sure of Jesus.
It feels like the breakthrough I need: moving forward, I am sure of Jesus, not myself or ability to perform, choose the right words, or create the right response. In fact, staying unsure of myself means I stay certain of Jesus; I’m dependent, humble, meek, and desperate.
I’m sure of Jesus.