I’m learning to ask: “How can I support you in this?”
Try asking this question to new friends, spouses, students, neighbors, and especially children. It’s an empowering question that takes the focus off of me and puts it back on them.
Tell me what you need, and how I can help? is a different approach from I know what you need and this is what I’m going to do for you.
The theme of this month has been all about me learning to listen to people, authorizing them to live their own lives (imagine!), and encouraging them in the manner they choose, not what I choose.
I ask my youngest daughter, “How can I support you best this year as you start middle school?”
Do you know what she said?
“I would like to have peaceful, less rushed mornings.”
That’s it! So now, to support her best right now, we’re changing up the morning routine to create more time (rising earlier), more organization (everything packed and put out the night before), and more positive, loving speech.
Ask your spouse! Ask your best friend! It’s so loving and reveals so much that you might not realize.