20 Years

Today is Ashley Holleman’s and my 20th wedding anniversary! Here’s a picture from our engagement on the left and one taken last year.

I’ve loved being married to Ashley! I think the greatest thing I’ve learned about marriage is the importance of building oneness. It’s work! You have to continually enter into one another’s lives. We’ve done this through rituals like drinking morning coffee, taking daily walks together, and sharing one another’s interests. I have learned to talk about woodworking and Star Wars, and he has learned to love all my television shows that involve singing and dancing.

We also have to build oneness professionally. Ashley will visit my classrooms, pray for my students with me at night, and ask about my lesson plans and goals. He’ll socialize with my colleagues and learn about my supervisors. Likewise, I’ve entered into every ministry conversation and learned about his daily meetings and responsibilities. When we’re given different opportunities professionally, the first question we’ve learned to ask is this: Will this help or harm our oneness?

Spiritually, we’ve learned to ask about what we’re each learning in our Bible reading and morning devotions. We often pray on our knees together at night by the bed.

And now? We’ve written a book together! God is so kind to blend Ashley’s ministry life with my writing life.

So if I were to give anyone the best advice on building a fun and rewarding marriage, it’s to ask God to help you build oneness.

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