I ask my wise mentor for her advice about teenage jealousy. After all, it took me four decades until I made peace with my own life and found the deep contentment of knowing I’m already seated at the table my heart longs for. While teaching the truth of our seat at the table soothes so much of teen comparison, I realize that I need something practical and immediate.
I present the problem to my mentor, and she says, “Have your daughter tell God what she really wants. Maybe the jealousy about certain things is a God-given dream in her heart about something she doesn’t yet have that perhaps God intends for her.”
I had never thought of it this way.
I tell my daughter to think about that thing she’s most jealous of and to ask God for that very thing because perhaps it’s a dream in her heart! But then, something marvelous happens: my daughter says, “I actually don’t want [that thing.]I don’t know what my problem is!”
It was a fun conversation because I said we might write down everything we think we want that other people have that we’re jealous of. And by the time I went to get the pen, she realized that she never wanted those things any way. It’s like the spell was broken.