When I became a mother, I’ve never forgotten what the nurse said at the first appointment with that newborn baby crying beside me.
“Everything has changed. You won’t ever be the same person again.”
It was a terrible thing to say. To depressed and anxious me, it felt like confirmation that with motherhood, everything within you dies. The you you knew is gone. I felt withered and lost inside.
I did not like that nurse. I wanted me back. I was scared and strange inside. But now, 13 years into motherhood, I praise God that I did become someone new. The person I was didn’t die; she was pruned and tied in place to grow into what she was supposed to be. She grew up, right along with the babies.
I learned to eat the solid food of the gospel, to walk in dependence on God, to rest inside my soul with no sleep. They hit physical milestones, and I hit spiritual ones.
Each new day, I grow as they grow.
Motherhood means all the right things change inside of you. It might feel like a lostness or a withering, but don’t worry, you’re growing stronger. You’re growing into the deep, raw joy of it. Jesus is with you, so do not fear. He might change everything about you, but you can trust the process as you change more diapers and clean up the playroom. The work is hard, but your soul is free to rejoice and learn more and more through whatever the day brings. You’ll love more, laugh more, and grow in more wisdom than you can imagine.
The work is hard, but the joy is greater.
Now go get your coffee and have the best Mother’s Day ever. Remember: You’re not changing diapers; the diapers are changing you.