Today I have an anxiety breakthrough. It’s because I’m standing in my kitchen feeling anxious about the day, and then I realize I’m actually more anxious about being anxious.
It’s weird. It’s like when the fear of a thing is worse than the actual thing.
The anxious feeling is making me anxious. What is this about? I sit with the feelings for a minute and realize that part of my anxiety is about hating anxiety. So instead, I chose to stop having anxiety about the anxiety. It’s just what it is. It’s just happening to me, and I don’t need to get anxious about the feelings, the spinning thoughts, and the inability to make any kind of rational decision. It’s not that awful, really. It’s the anxiety about this that makes it awful.
Then, everything washes over me and out of my mind like it couldn’t find a place to settle. This is a new trick to add to my arsenal against anxiety: When it comes, I don’t evaluate it and get anxious that it’s happening.