Just now, my printer chokes and halts. An orange warning light flickers. A message alert flashes on my computer screen: No paper.
I find the stack of new paper, bend down to fill the printer, and suddenly realize something. Looking at that new blank page warns me somehow. It becomes a spiritual moment right here by the old printer.
I consider how only a blank page will produce a clear document.
I know this because I’ve accidentally put used paper in my printer that bore the marks of old essays, chapters from novels, or random printouts from various websites. When you try to print on paper that’s already filled, the printer spits out gobbledygook.
You just can’t read words overlying other words or paragraphs imprinted atop other paragraphs. (Gobbledygook really is a word. It means meaningless, unintelligible, nonsense language.)
Only a blank page will do. I realize I have a script for my life–words on the page I want–butI long for the willingness to hand God a blank page. Trying to merge my own narrative onto the one He’s writing produces a kind of gobbledygook: stress, meaninglessness, and chaos. If only I might offer the blank page and let another Writer compose!
Journal: Offering up a blank page seems very freeing, but also terrifying. What script or story line do I need to clear from my life?