Last week, I was asked to write a piece on depression and Lent for The High Calling. At my lowest point, I imagined God asking the question, “Will you live the life I ask you to live?” I was humbled and so encouraged by the comments on this little essay called, The Best Question. (Click the link and enjoy.)
Yesterday, I’m walking to the vernal pond and recalling that depression. I remember how many years I resisted the reality of my life. It didn’t look like it was supposed to. But God knows what I don’t know; He sees what I don’t see. But I wasn’t ready to surrender.
Humbled again, I’m silenced as I walk in the woods.
We find our secret pond, and on the surface, I see the blue sky reflected.
My daughters peer deeply, waiting patiently. All of a sudden, we see the new frog and salamander eggs. They might even be turtle eggs.
Then, the water’s surface trembles: little salamanders, spotted bright red and orange dart beneath the leaves.
Can you see that one hiding?
I look out, and I see an entire pond filled with eggs, and tiny creatures move about everywhere. Those white cottony puffs are great big globs of frog eggs. Next week, we’ll see unimaginable numbers of tadpoles.
As I think about my life (the one I resisted all those years), I hear another whisper of the Spirit. I look deep into that pond, and I see how fertile, how bountiful, how rich and teeming this exact spot is.
This very spot where I find myself (no matter how wrong) will produce life in abundance as I cooperate with God. And when nothing seems to be happening, I just have to look beneath the surface.
Journal: Will I live the life God asks me to live?